Forever Changing

My 10 year old has been sick with the flu. So, we've been trying to find quiet, yet fun activities for him to do this week. He's watched movies, played games, read, looked at pictures, and slept (A LOT). He has been so exhausted... bless his heart.

Anyways, having tried almost everything we could think of that he was interested in... today, he asked if we could get out all of our family movies.

This is a slight undertaking, as some of them are on large VHS,  and some on small VHS. These small ones need a larger tape that they're designed to slip inside of. And, quite frankly, I didn't know where that larger tape was. Then, there are some more movies on small DVD's. These cannot be played without hooking the DVD recorder into the television. And, of course, there are the movies that we've recorded on our digital camera, and are on CD's that you can watch on a computer.

One can literally see the technology movement within the past 15 years, just by looking at our collection of family movies. My plan is one day to have all of them put onto one type of video device. Of course, I don't know when to do that, for fear that the media I choose will change yet again... HA!

For now though, they're all on these different types of videos.

I was able to find all of the necessary pieces to make all of the different types of movies play.
(hooray for me!)

Caleb chose the first movie to watch. It was one from when he was a baby.

All of the boys and I laughed and cooed over the images of the babies on the screen, who are now 11 and 10. We listened intently to the sounds coming from the screen, baby babbling and words trying to be formed. We watched them play in the snow, and in a sandbox, as well as eat cake and open presents.

I was hit hard by the realization that TIME DOESN'T STAND STILL. I know this truth more and more. I had heard this and probably even said this then. But, I didn't live my life like I believed it. I didn't take those years seriously with my boys. And, watching them on the screen, part of me wished I had the chance to live those moments over again, with the knowledge that I have now.

Of course, the boys weren't the only ones in the movies. Our family, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, friends, and Dave and I were also in them. I watched and enjoyed seeing the boys. But, I also watched myself.

I watched myself on these movies. I remembered how I felt then. Going through the motions, in a fog, mostly emotionless, with a tough layer of indifference around me. I didn't want to hurt, I didn't want to do, and I didn't have joy.

Honestly, this brought me to tears. Tears that I was who I was then, with sorrow because of it. Tears that I am who I am now, with joy that God has made that change in me.

None of these changes have come easily. I remember days when I could barely get out of bed. There were days when changing diapers and feeding my children were the only things I did. And then, I didn't even do those tasks with the love and care that God would've had me. But, as I relented to God's control and strength in my life, I was able to do more and more. I was able to care for the family God had blessed me with. I was able to love them completely, because I had finally realized His great love for me. And, because of His love, I had JOY, unspeakable JOY!

"Just as the Father has loved Me, I have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father's commandments, and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full."
John 15:11

WOW! Isn't that a reason worth living?! Jesus' JOY lives in me! That makes me want to jump out of this seat , jump around and dance! If that fact alone can't excite you... well, as my husband would say...
 "check your pulse".

I am far from perfect, but, God has changed me. And do you know what the best part is?

Praise be to GOD, He's not finished!!