with an almost year hiatus writing on this blog, it seems apparent that i need a certain calm to my surroundings to make any sense of thoughts and words. and while months have passed since the last moving box was emptied and rooms set up to live, my brain and body have only recently realized that they are, in fact, Ohio residents. now that the dust has settled, and my Momma's heart is certain that my boys have fully adapted, a calm has swept over my heart, and God is prompting me to be fully here. it's not that i have been partially present, but rather, partially preoccupied.
asked to describe the past months.. my thoughts continually go to awestruck.
awestruck at how He provides. awestruck at how He moves. awestruck at how He leads.
and continually awestruck that He would care to use little us in His big, big plan.
when He made it clear that his calling was to this new adventure, He brought me to verse after verse about his path.
did you know that not only is his path good and true and straight, but also perfect?
oh, we muck it up good when we sling our own petty nonsense onto it, mud onto crystal clean.
we make such a mess when we follow begrudgingly, or forbid, we not follow at all. He has the path He desires for us, and obedience is always the best option. but, any path that leads us closer to our understanding of Him and his ways is good. it's definitely not that i have come to understand all of his ways.. no, i am so inept. but i have grown to know him better. i do trust him more. and i do rest more calmly in his almighty hands.
it was a little over a year ago that we knew God was stirring our hearts. in fact, two weeks ago last year this time, Dave and i made our first trek to this Ohio town. Dave would interview that weekend, and i would remain at the hotel...and pray. pray for God to show us clearly his plan, pray for His will to be done, that every detail would unfold from his grip and we would hold tightly to his outstretched hand.
thinking back on those months of not knowing exactly what God was up to. it all seems a bit blurry. some moments blurred by my own tears, while other times were brought into a shadow as i was covered by God's wings of protection. He left me hidden there, in the shadow of his wings, reminding me again and again to simply put one foot in front of the other, to do the next thing.. never hurrying me, but rather gently kept me moving forward, encouraging my heart along the path.
this journey of life...i cannot help but give thanks. to have the privilege of knowing the life-giver
and the maker of our paths. may i choose to walk in obedience as he continues to light the way...certain that his plan will always leave me awestruck.