Thursday, October 25, 2012

an interruption

here i am interrupted on a few levels.. interrupting my series on journeys... interrupted by illness... which interrupts my schedule and everything i deem important.. and finally, interrupted thoughts.         God-stirrings in the depths of who i am.

upon returning home from our journey of trips, i had the grandest of plans laid out. it was time to find our groove, here at home, with school and holidays creeping around the corner.

fall ushers in a time of bring-it-under-control for me, and that was my desire in all areas.

when sickness hit my husband while we were at the beach, i had full intention of outrunning the dreaded plague. it was not to be so. i was hit hard, and down for the entire first week home.

telling myself the next week would be better, i optimistically pressed on.

then, the plague struck the boys..and we were down for another week.

we somehow snuck in one week of normalcy, accomplishing all that i wanted. we did every bit of scheduled schoolwork, attended co-op, all extra curricula and fun was had. albeit dim in my memory, it was a wonderful week. i ended it thankful and hopeful that this was our normal, that we had experienced the last of craziness in our schedule.

i have lost track now, but it was not but a few days later that my own temperature was soaring, stomach aching.
that was almost two weeks now, and i am only on the cusp of feeling a bit better.

realizing all of this illness could be much worse, and there are many people we hold dear who are experiencing devastating, chronic disease, we are thankful in the midst of our own struggles. we truly have it easy compared to some.

but, i am hit with the fact that my plans are only controlled by the One Who is in control of all.
and i find myself at His feet, asking what He has for this season of rest.

for today, i am overwhelmingly struck by the fact that the longer i know God, the more i realize i don't know much of anything.
 i am just a sojourner, completely dependent on Him. His guiding hand. His wisdom.

and although my human screams frustration, i am certain that He has a purpose and plan for every interruption.

Friday, October 19, 2012

a journey traveled..part two..first impressions

having arrived home from this trip...

there was no need to put the suitcases away, for only one week from that day, we were leaving for Nicaragua. that week was spent in much preparation, of course. preparing physically, spiritually and much as possible. although, in hind-site, there isn't much one can do to prepare one's heart for the impact of a trip like this. but, i did what i could. i packed all necessary clothes, for myself and all 4 boys...perfecting my own version of vacuum sealing, via ziploc bags and my tush. then i tended to every toiletry item..taking stock in bug spray and itch-be-gone. i had it all together and felt very in control.

...surely i cannot be the only one who likes to think that i have some control.. oh, what a faulty mindset it is..

finally, the big day came. we left at sun-crack of dawn, excitedly heading to this land we knew not of.

the boys grew their wings, experiencing their first ever plane rides. they all agreed it was fun and fascinating, but overall, no big deal. it was simply a means to an end. the best part for them was the little boxed meals and sodas.

we arrived mid afternoon, somewhat tired, but anxiously excited about this adventure. our first impressions of this country left us slight head tilted, wondering about the conditions people live in, how desperate they were for earnings. something close to 30 men clamoured to help us load our bags into our rental vehicle. it was difficult to count the luggage, so i left that to the men on our team, and quickly accounted for my children, tucking them safely into the van. the airport, although smallish, was nice, with air condition cool. but when the doors opened, thick heat, mixed with a thin layer of sooty smog, smells of gas fumes and burning garbage hit you square on. as we drove through the town, we saw how the majority of their population lives. within our first hour there, my sensory overload had reached it's overflowed point, and impressed a permanent memory into me so deep that to close my eyes and ponder these things, i can be still be there.

but the thing that kept crowding it's way back to the top of my conscience was how beautiful the people were. in the midst of less-than-little, they were thankful. their smiles broad and their homes open..such a welcoming people.

perhaps there is a beauty in having so little that you are willing to share it all..

Thursday, October 4, 2012

a journey traveled... part 1.

 it's been far too long since i've caught up with you dear folk. my apologies, if you will.
now if i could only find the place to begin this epic tale. a tale of adventure, faith and down right exhaustion it is. thankfully, the exhaustion isn't for naught..for much learning was had along the way. and learning i will take. for when i stop learning, i will have stopped living.

i began this journey, of sorts, nigh end of August. the boys and i loaded into the van and trucked northward, to Ohio, to see some blood-folk. we hadn't seen them in nearly four years, which is just plain neglectful and painful to admit. this gathering was ensued by my sweet Ma-maw's coming birthday. eighty years young, she turned, her joy in our Lord still the same driving force of her life.

we all gathered. some who live there, you'ins from Florida and us'ins from Maryland. a grand group we are, full of mischief for certain, but love pervades. and there's something thick about blood. something that kicks four years goodbye and starts right there, having never stopped. mostly, it reminds me of comfort.

having not seen this folk for so long, there were new little ones all around, and even some new cousin-in-laws to meet. there were darling, ringlet-haired girls and spunky, energy-filled boys..some of them seconds, or first-once-removed? i've never been good at knowing the difference. all of them, my folk, and beautifully knitted by the Master Himself.

'twas a delight to see and wrap my arms around these people. being with them stirs memories so thick, i must slice them to be in the present. four more years of not seeing them, cannot go by again. that's simply all there is to it.

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