stalemate

at a crossroads perhaps. no, i am not really sure i should call it that. maybe it is just an excursion, off the worn, thoroughly trodden path. remarkable views are certain though.
i know God is urging, guiding.

if only i could be like an Israelite, and have a pillar of cloud or fire.

something to actually see and keep stepping towards.

why in these moments, when God is pressing in, prodding gently..  do excuses escape so freely?

when God says "move", and i just stand still, frozen in fear, somehow convincing myself that if we both stand still, consistently communicating, that we both win.

then You remind me... when neither player can make a move, the game becomes stale... neither win, but both lose. and that is my biggest fear of all.
complacency...
not a running river, but a stagnant swamp, collecting all that is bad and diseased.

You call me to obedience, You, God of all.

 not to make the next move, but to let You hold the pieces, all of them.

You have promised to be faithful, not to make it easy.

Father, would i see You if the darkness never came? or would Your light blend in, mistaken for the sun?

could i understand Your healing if i never felt the hurt?

Your truth brings clarity to confusion. and although sometimes my heart aches,

i know the aching I feel is only a longing for home.

You call me to obedience, to obey You, God of all. in that thick, passing all too quickly, cannot describe or retrieve it moment... i am left breathless, desiring exhale...
carry me along the path You will.



joining in with a grateful heart at