look up

my oldest son called me this evening. i thought he was calling to tell me that he was on his way home, as is his normal habit. but this time, he asked all of us to please come outside, emphasizing to please not open the big garage door, allowing abundant light to shine.

having no idea of what he desired to show us, i gathered his brothers. several thoughts running through my head...perhaps there are deer or some other kind of animal. maybe carolers or an unexpected guest. whatever the surprise, my son was excited to show us and i was excited to see it.

we headed out the side door, meeting him in the driveway. he was alone, and there were no obvious signs of animals, or anything else to see, for that matter.

his brothers all chimed, "what is it? what do you want to show us?"

beckoning us a little further into the darkness of the night, only to see more clearly..
he simply said, "look up."

a crystal clear sky before us, layered stars shone brightly...some close, some at the deepest point our eyes could see. all of it exquisite, consuming our senses and breathtaking.

and i marveled at a young man who chooses to see God's creation and desires to share its beauty with us.

and i couldn't help but to think...this is really how it should always be. when we experience the goodness of God, we should always desire to share it with someone. when we see Him clearly, we should call someone to let them know how they can see Him as well. when our soul is satisfied by the most magnificent Creator, we should seek out someone who is thirsty for such beauty, and remind them that He alone is the soul-quencher.

because we all, at some point, need reminders to look up.

shooting arrows

perhaps the blur of the past year kept me preoccupied from noticing. or maybe outright denial played the biggest part. but the past months of maturing in these boys of mine has made me sit up straight and take note of how time has seemingly skipped right over any tangible, mind-grasping sense of reasonable. they've gone ahead and shot up several inches combined, faces suddenly man-chiseled, with the oldest now driving and taking on all sorts of responsible. 

it's not that I mind all of this growing up..I am fiercely proud of each of them, growing deeply in their walk with our Lord. but I am reminded to fervently pray. to pray for their minds, that they would stay fast ahold of truth, never wavering. for their hearts, that any strings pulled would be sewn only by God himself, and that above all else, they would guard it. and as I pray, I'm reminded of who these boys are to me.

 God describes them as arrows in the hands of a warrior. and I'm hit with the truth that these boys entrusted to my care are no longer on my hip, carried in the quiver, sheltered away from the cares of this world. no, they're out, exposed for the world to see, carefully placed across the bow. I'm reminded to hold them there,  poised delicately, ready to draw.

 but not quite yet. this is the time for sharpening, to make certain their arrow is sharp enough to pierce the toughest circumstances the world may bring. this task isn't meant to be easy.  it sometimes means long conversations, guidelines put into place, and tears..from both of us. but one thing I promise.. we refuse to let them drop, carelessly onto the ground, trampled upon,  in a desperate attempt to figure it all out on their own.

and when the time is right, the draw back will begin. and it will take strength..unbelievable strength, with tension mounting, independence desired but not fully attained. but the further back their daddy and I pull them, the closer they'll be to our hearts. and then there will come a  day ..beautiful and right.. when it's time to make the shot ..and aimed towards Christ, dancing on the whispers of our prayers,..

..the closer they're drawn towards our hearts...

... the further they will fly.

awestruck

with an almost year hiatus writing on this blog, it seems apparent that i need a certain calm to my surroundings to make any sense of thoughts and words. and while months have passed since the last moving box was emptied and rooms set up to live, my brain and body have only recently realized that they are, in fact, Ohio residents. now that the dust has settled, and my Momma's heart is certain that my boys have fully adapted, a calm has swept over my heart, and God is prompting me to be fully here. it's not that i have been partially present, but rather, partially preoccupied.

asked to describe the past months.. my thoughts continually go to awestruck.
awestruck at how He provides. awestruck at how He moves. awestruck at how He leads.
and continually awestruck that He would care to use little us in His big, big plan.

when He made it clear that his calling was to this new adventure, He brought me to verse after verse about his path.

 did you know that not only is his path good and true and straight, but also perfect? 

oh, we muck it up good when we sling our own petty nonsense onto it, mud onto crystal clean.
we make such a mess when we follow begrudgingly, or forbid, we not follow at all. He has the path He desires for us, and obedience is always the best option. but, any path that leads us closer to our understanding of Him and his ways is good. it's definitely not that i have come to understand all of his ways.. no, i am so inept. but i have grown to know him better. i do trust him more. and i do rest more calmly in his almighty hands.

it was a little over a year ago that we knew God was stirring our hearts. in fact, two weeks ago last year this time, Dave and i made our first trek to this Ohio town. Dave would interview that weekend, and i would remain at the hotel...and pray. pray for God to show us clearly his plan, pray for His will to be done, that every detail would unfold from his grip and we would hold tightly to his outstretched hand.

thinking back on those months of not knowing exactly what God was up to. it all seems a bit blurry. some moments blurred by my own tears, while other times were brought into a shadow as i was covered by God's wings of protection. He left me hidden there, in the shadow of his wings, reminding me again and again to simply put one foot in front of the other, to do the next thing.. never hurrying me, but rather gently kept me moving forward, encouraging my heart along the path.

 this journey of life...i cannot help but give thanks. to have the privilege of knowing the life-giver
and the maker of our paths. may i choose to walk in obedience as he continues to light the way...certain that his plan will always leave me awestruck.